This Valentine’s Day I would like to give my perspective on how thoughtful questions can strengthen the love between parent and child. Parents always ask, “How was your day?” This kind of question will get one word answers. Here are some questions to try:
“Can you tell me your favorite part of the day?”
“Did any part of the day make you sad?”
“What did you read today?”
“What part of the day made you happy?”
“Who did you play with outside?”
“What was your favorite part of lunch?”
Talking to your children about your day is also helpful. These exchanges build vocabulary, start a dialogue, and keep you connected. These types of questions are also good to help kids recall events, it is a cognitive exercise! Just remember that it is not a quiz, it is meant to be a meaningful exchange.
I modeled for my own son and really made an effort to ask him thoughtful questions. We started these conversations as an infant, I would do most of the talking then, but now as an 8-year-old we have rich conversations. Now he will ask me thoughtful questions when we reconnect at the end of the day.
Also don’t forget to ask questions about people in your child’s life:
“Was there a part of your day that made the teacher sad?”
“What was your teacher’s favorite part of the day?”
These types of questions will lead into lessons about relating to others, empathy, compassion. Everyone does not have to feel the same way and conversations are not always about your own feelings.
At the end of the day, good questions remind us that a big part of love is communicating. Love is being listened to, being heard. Someone in your life cares enough, sees you, and wants to know more about you. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Post by Peaches Lott